My last relationship before Jon was my final test: how badly do you want a relationship versus how badly do you want a partner who’s actually good for you?

I was dating guys who’d say, “I don’t want kids,” and I’d tell myself the same lie every time: if he just falls in love with me, he will.

I had to cut that shit out. But it wasn’t always easy to.

Because underneath it wasn’t optimism. It was desperation dressed up as hope.

I was so wrapped up in wanting to be chosen that I’d lie in bed, cry a little, and negotiate with God like He owed me an ETA.

And I felt guilty because by all measures, my life was great. Yet I’d still wake up with that ache—like something was missing.

During that time, I found myself on the man-hating corner of TikTok. I have five brothers and a father—I love the men in my life—but I didn’t connect the dots that this content was normalizing something toxic as funny. It felt okay to laugh along: men are trash, ha ha.

It’s not okay. It didn’t help me get over my issues. It just sunk me further into an indignant spiral—a self-cherishing belief that I had the right to be angry.

I was in the deepest part of my spiral when I read a book that snapped me out of it. (I’ll share it next time.)

The book asked me to make a contract with myself. To hold myself to a higher standard. To act with integrity. If I believed I was love, I needed to be love. I needed to be open to all the ways love was showing up in my life—not obsessing over the ways it wasn’t.

So that’s what I did.

It was hard to shake. But I committed: I’m not going to be sad about boys. I’m getting off man-hating algorithms. My life is good. I have amazing friends, an amazing family. Everyone I love is healthy and alive. I’m done living like I’m missing something.

When Jon recalls meeting me, he always says, “There was just something about you. You were radiant.”

I don’t think my radiance was magic. I think it was hygiene.

Hygiene can mean you stop letting food spoil in your fridge. It can also mean you stop feeding yourself negative thoughts.

I made a contract with myself—and then I kept it. That’s what changed everything.

If you know someone stuck in a spiral, send her or him this.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

This Week in Crypto — SheFi Edition 🏇

• Morgan Stanley formalizes its crypto push. Morgan Stanley appointed veteran Amy Oldenburg to lead its digital asset strategy. This isn’t exploratory. It’s operational. Hiring leadership is how institutions signal they expect crypto to be part of the business, not a side experiment.

• Lens changes hands. Lens was acquired, another signal that the “web3 social” era is entering a new phase. Not dead, but consolidating. The story here isn’t the buyer. It’s what happens when protocols mature: ownership and stewardship shift from narrative-driven growth to operators who can sustain infrastructure.

• Tether launches a U.S.-regulated stablecoin. Tether announced a U.S.-regulated USD stablecoin. This matters because stablecoins are moving from offshore liquidity tools into onshore, compliant financial infrastructure. Regulation is no longer a blocker. It’s becoming a feature.

• Crypto payments keep scaling quietly. Payments network Mesh raised $75M at unicorn valuation as crypto card usage and payment rails continue to grow. This is not about trading. It’s about crypto integrating into everyday money movement.

• NFT infrastructure gets stress-tested. Nifty Gateway promised permanent NFT hosting amid shutdown concerns. The takeaway here isn’t NFTs. It’s durability. Markets are starting to care less about hype and more about whether digital assets actually persist.

• Market context. Bitcoin hovered around the high $80Ks to low $90Ks. ETH held around $3K. Price was stable. The activity wasn’t.

SheFi takeaway ✨

This week made one thing clear: crypto is no longer asking the world to change. It’s changing to meet the world where it already is. That’s institutionalization.

Celebrating SheFi Successes 🎉

• Debra helped make history as Wyoming became the first U.S. government to launch a USD-backed stablecoin.

👉️ Share your wins so we can celebrate them 👈️

SheFi & Crypto Events 🌎

Going to ETHCC, Token2049 or Devcon? Join our Global Events Telegram Chat: https://t.me/shefisummit

SheFi Events:

• 02/05 Virtual: Branding Pessoal: RSVP here

• 02/17 Denver: SheFi Investment Club is coming to ETHDenver: RSVP here
  A hands-on workshop covering staking, tracking investments, lending, borrowing, yield farming, and real-world considerations.

Other events:

• 01/28 NYC: Opening Bell: Aptos Edition: RSVP here

• 01/28 NYC: Privy Home: IRL: RSVP here

• 01/29 London: Dune in London: Onchain data for institutions: RSVP here

• 02/09 Kowloon: Cats Connect: RSVP here

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